Dear loving people,
It was a dusty morning in a suburb; my phone rang for
the first time in four days. “Hello, Abongta speaking” I said scratching my
itching nose and wondering who could be disrupting my solitude. “From this end,
I am Failure; I’ll like to have a word with you Sir.” Came the husky voice. “I beg
your pardon! Who did you say you are?” my eyes were popping already. “Failure! It’s
Failure Sir and I would like to have a word with you if you don’t mind.”
With a feeling of anger and a trembling body, I went
on “Is this some…. Is this some joke or what? Anyway, what can I do for you?” “Sir,
I have read a lot about you and your inspirational posts on Living Lectures, I just
wanted to hear in your own words what you consider Failure to be.” Still bemused,
I launched into a hurried explanation…
“Well, firstly, I would say that a Failure is not
someone who fails but someone who quits. Everyone fails from time to
time, but I will not consider you to be a failure until you quit. Did you play
a song on a piano the very first time? Certainly No. You had to try again
and again. This happens in all spheres; even Christians become weary while
serving the Lord? Yes, there are times when you may not feel like going to
church, reading your Bible or even praying. At such moments, you rather need to
go to church more than ever before as it could be the time God touches your
heart. You need to read your Bible as it could be the time the scriptures bless
your heart. You need to pray because that could be the time God opens the doors
of Heaven for you.
I agree with Henry
Ford who says “Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently” Thomas Edison is said to have failed 1,000 times
before inventing the light bulb. When asked why this happened, in humility
he said, "I found 999 reasons why it
could not work." In the game of life, you have to clearly know what it
takes to discourage you because success is not determined by what it takes
to start you but to stop you. “Do you get me?” I asked wondering if my
strange caller was still at the other end listening.”
“I get you loud and clear Sir but I am just wondering though, what if
you choose to avoid failure? What if you are too scared of the pain and shame and ridicule to risk it happening?” “Good
question” I said getting more comfortable with the discussion as it was clear
my caller needed assistance. “If you try to avoid failure, most certainly, you
will fail to succeed. Your fear of failure and your avoidance of it, at
all costs, becomes the very reason why you do. If you have ever tried to become
successful at anything, you will be familiar with failure. You cannot succeed
to master something without at first failing a lot. The very act of failure is
required in order to succeed. If you want to learn a new art, or learn to ride
a bike, or play an instrument, or become a teacher… Whatever it is, you need to
get comfortable with failing. Let me give you a good example.
In the U.S. education system the goal is to leave no
one behind. As a result a great many graduates have never been allowed to fail
contrary to what obtains in a country like Cameroon. This isn't because they
are actually most skilled or talented. It is because the system doesn't allow for
failure. I can firmly say that without having a chance to fail, these
students are deprived of one of the most powerful ways of learning. Without
having a chance to fail, students are taught to avoid failure which means they
avoid risk. Teaching students to avoid risk teaches them to avoid the very
thing that can make them successful later on in life.
As a result many adults in the U.S. don't know how to react to failure in their
own life. They have learned from a young age to avoid failure and to try to
ignore it when it occurs. They have learned that failure can just be swept
aside and not dealt with or reflected upon. Recognizing failure is one of the
best ways to grow. If you ignore your failures, it is unlikely that you will
ever be able to develop the skills necessary to make up for your deficiencies.
My own past failures
remind me that I am not afraid to stick my neck out and try. I am prepared to
take a beating. I want to better myself and I am prepared to take the knocks
along the way in order to reach my goals. And with each failure, I learn, I
grow and I get ever closer to achieving my goals.
By recognizing your failures, you are better able to understand yourself. Also
by treating each and every failure as a learning experience, you can make
failure a positive experience. This doesn't mean that you will want to fail,
but by turning failure into something good, you can reduce the pain of failure.
Since many individuals avoid action because they are afraid of failure, taking
steps toward minimizing your fear of failure can give you an advantage over
others who have not learned to benefit from their mistakes. Fear
of failure is one of the biggest reasons people don't strive for greatness.
By recognizing that failure is just part of the learning process, individuals
can overcome one of the biggest roadblocks to success.
Risk is a natural part of success. Risk doesn't mean doing something stupid.
Risk means attempting something that stretches you beyond what you know you can
succeed at. This type of risk helps you to grow. By developing a healthy
attitude toward failure, the fear of risk is lowered which encourages people to
attempt things that will contribute to their success.
Take the time to recognize all of your failures. Don't simply brush over them.
Take the time to reflect on what went wrong and how you could have handled the
situation differently. By doing this you will be able to grow in a way that
many individuals avoid. This growth can set you apart from the average person
and turn your failures into successes in the future. Failures are inevitable,
but you have a choice on what you do with the failure. You can let it destroy
you or use it as a springboard to make yourself stronger than before.
Conclusively, “The
quickest road to success is to possess an attitude toward failure of ‘no fear,’
” says Ralph Heath. “To do their work well, to be successful and to keep
their companies competitive, leaders and workers on the front lines need to
stick their necks out a mile every day. They have to deliver risky, edgy,
breakthrough ideas, plans, presentations, advice, technology, products,
leadership, bills and more. And they have to deliver all this
fearlessly—without any fear whatsoever of failure, rejection or punishment.”
That’s about what I can say to
you Mr Failure, oops! Sorry am I correct, your voice didn’t sound like that of
a man…” “You are very correct Sir, I am a man and you’ve sufficiently clarified
my worries” the line went dead. What a way to appreciate. The bottom-line is
that I addressed Mr Failure squarely.
Merry Christmas
