Self-confidence is a Building Block

Dear loving people,

Self-confidence is an attitude which allows individuals to have positive yet realistic views of themselves and their situations. Self-confident people trust their own abilities, have a general sense of control in their lives, and believe that, within reason, they will be able to do what they wish, plan, and expect. Having self-confidence does not mean that individuals will be able to do everything. Self-confident people have expectations that are realistic. Even when some of their expectations are not met, they continue to be positive and to accept themselves.

Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives, yet so many people struggle to find it. Sadly, this can be a vicious circle: People who lack self-confidence can find it difficult to become successful. After all, most people are reluctant to back a project that's being led by someone who was nervous, fumbling, and overly apologetic.

Self-confidence is exactly the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared out of your wits. Your perception of yourself has an enormous impact on how others perceive you. Perception is reality — the more self-confidence you have, the more likely it is you’ll succeed.

One way to start boosting your self-confidence is to affirm your worth, truly, affirmations work magic. Write a list of statements that say what you want and how you want to be in life such as, "I get more confident everyday". "I am an expert at what I do, I know I am". State all affirmations in the present. Some people stand in front of a mirror and say them. I also encourage you to record them and play the tape over and over. Read your affirmations at least once a day.

Then you have to evaluate your relationships. Assess the relationships in your life. Do they support you or sabotage you? All relationships change with time; some get better, some get worse. If you have relationships in your life that are more of a burden then a joy, it may be time to get rid of them.

Evaluating your existing relationships give room for you to start new relationships. Identify people that have the qualities you admire - people you feel you could learn from and who could learn from you, as well. Look for people you can have fun with. Boosting your confidence can be really fun, if you want it to be. This may be time for a traditional support group. Chatting over a cup of palm wine with your pals might be a remedy. Organize your own group of confidence boosters and support each other in making changes. Remember my post on Fulcrum Of Success (FOS)? You might want to read that again.

Above all and most importantly, you will have to change your behavior.
What do you do that boosts your confidence and what do you do that brings it down? Exercise, getting enough sleep, speaking your mind, and dressing well are behaviors that tend to boost confidence. Staying up late, spending all your time with some lousy friends, and saying "yes" to avoid confrontation when you really want to say "no" will bring your confidence down.

Never forget to speak up. When we withhold communication because we are afraid of how we will be received, we chip away another bit of our confidence. Share your thoughts, opinions, and preferences. Speak up in all situations. As part of a formidable human potential development organization – Gold Touch International, I learned that you should make it a point of duty to speak-up wherever you are. The insignificant situations will be practice for the important occasions that are sure to follow.

In doing all of this, ensure that you take a risk a day. A risk is something you would do in an instant if you knew you would be successful. It is the fact that you do not know how it will turn out that makes it a risk. The best way to bolster your confidence is to start doing things you are afraid to do. Make a list of risks for you and start to do them one by one.

Sometimes, it takes a few days to boost your confidence, sometimes, it takes a few weeks. Occasionally it can take a few months to overcome a confidence deficiency. Know that if you are consistent with your confidence boosting techniques, you will eventually find yourself renewed, stronger, and more confident.

Procrastination is the loser’s Game

Dear loving people,

One of the most valuable skills in the life of an achiever is the ability to consistently meet deadlines and accomplish tasks in a timely manner. The reality is that times without number; procrastination prevents many people from achieving it. Napoleon Hill says “procrastination is the bad habit of putting off until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday.” Christopher Parker goes on to say “procrastination is like a credit card: it's a lot of fun until you get the bill. Can you immagine that? Actually, you only get to know the real damage Procrastination can cause you only when you pay the price.

Winning the battle against procrastination may seem a daunting, even unachievable goal, but anyone can do it once you focus on developing strategies to overcome it. Lord Chesterfield proposes a starting point by saying “know the true value of time; snatch, seize, and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination: never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.”

William Barclay in “The danger of spiritual procrastination” recounts a fable of three apprentice devils who were coming to this earth to finish their apprenticeship. They were talking to Satan, the chief of the devils, about their plans to tempt and to ruin men.

The first said, "I will tell them that there is no God." Satan said, "That will not delude many, for they know that there is a God."

The second said, "I will tell men that there is no hell." Satan answered, "You will deceive no one that way; men know even now that there is a hell for sin."

The third said, "I will tell men that there is no hurry." "Go," said Satan, "and you will ruin men by the thousands."

The most dangerous of all delusions is that there is plenty of time. Achievers must understand this and act accordingly in order to hit the summit.

Why not start now! to fight procrastination in your life, don’t wait for tomorrow, it might never come.

Develop a Success Mentality

Dear loving people,

In order to break barriers and to achieve in life, you need to adopt the correct state of mind. Everything starts in the mind; an athlete for example cannot win a gold medal until they have won it in their mind, a boxer cannot win a fight until they have won in their mind, and an actor cannot be an actor until they are an actor in their mind. Whatever it is regarding, in order to be successful, we must first succeed in our mind. Positive thinking enables us to have a positive attitude and allows our imaginations to envisage positive scenarios. Our imagination is a visualization process which is much more powerful than we tend to acknowledge.

What we imagine is what we think; as we think our thoughts, we are creating images in our mind. These images could be of things that we want or things that we do not want. Remember, our most dominant thoughts are what form our beliefs and our beliefs are the main drivers of our behavior. Therefore, as we imagine ourselves being successful, our behavior will reflect this positive mentality; this is what a Success mentality is. So, the images that we hold inside our mind can ultimately become our experience; our mind will endeavor to create the images that we hold persistently. In other words, the thoughts that are constantly running through our mind, consciously and unconsciously, are ultimately making up our experiences.

A success mentality is what I believe separates winners from losers; it is an important tool for those who want to break any kind of sustained challenge to the top. I am not sure that football is my passion but I do know that when a football team is in a relegation battle, they would play the next match as if their lives depended on it; this is exactly what should happen to the person who wants to succeed in an important task especially when that task will contribute in some way to the attainment of his supreme goal.

Start any task aggressively from the very beginning. A football team begins a crucial match aggressively; they don’t need to spend the first 45 minutes to decide or to wait for a team talk in the dresser. The entire team needs to take responsibility on the field of play for the manner in which they approach games, especially against their arch rivals! This hold same for anybody in the quest for great achievements against the arch rival - failure.

There are some fundamental elements of a success mentality that an achiever needs to develop and use systematically as they go about their daily business…

1.      Grace under Pressure: The ability to focus under pressure is a key characteristic of an achiever. In a football match for example, a good player will not get pulled off their game despite outside pressure or stimulus. They remain calm, cool, and collected. Such a player rather objectively strategizes without getting emotional. This means knowing when to attack and when to hold back. Players never quit a match even if it is not going the way they planned, this holds true for any achieve. Don’t over-pace and burn out, attempting to move on beyond your ability. You should have a deliberate strategy planned out. Know your milestones, threshold, and ability, and proceed accordingly. Stick to your path of growth and do not get pulled off your quest for any reason. Focus on the process of reaching your goal and what is going on in you and around you, not the outcome.

2.    Learn From Mistakes: To footballers, a bad match remains bad if they do not learn from it. Keep track of the failures you register as you move on with your quest for success, this is why it is important to never quit. The team watches their past matches carefully and adapts and modifies their training to rectify their weaknesses. You must do same as an achiever. You should not be discouraged but seek the right questions and answers about your past failure. Don’t make or accept excuses. Was your poor performance due to bad decisions, wrong budgeting? Or was it right on target? In business sometimes, your decisions are correct but your rival is simply better than you at that moment in time. If that is the case all you can do is review your strategy maybe pricing, service quality etc. in order to outsmart them next time.

3.    Precision: Footballers know that winning a match involves precision. The right and timely passes, timely positioning etc. Achievers must do same. Be at the sales meeting on time, put the icing on the cake on time, serve the wine on time, plant the maize on time, have the right staff in time etc. The more guess work you take out of your system, the more performance you will gain. Do not leave anything about your quest for greatness to chance.

 

4.    Get Technical: haphazard decision making produces haphazard results just like random training by football teams produces random results but when the team maintains specific training, they obtain specific results. Do not expect to achieve success faster by simply putting the time in. Achievers plan with purpose and specificity. They seek outside assistance and employ the latest methodologies. They go for the best training in leadership for example and keep pace with evolving technology. If you really want to get fast outcomes, you need to define your limiters and come up with a corresponding growth plan. Use performance indicators to regularly track progress. 

 I strongly maintain that an achiever is anyone who has clearly visualized success in the mind, accepts the challenge of developing to their own true potential. An achiever’s mentality does not just end with moving on but extends to many areas of life. It is pride and confidence in utilizing your creative ability.