Self-confidence is a Building Block

Dear loving people,

Self-confidence is an attitude which allows individuals to have positive yet realistic views of themselves and their situations. Self-confident people trust their own abilities, have a general sense of control in their lives, and believe that, within reason, they will be able to do what they wish, plan, and expect. Having self-confidence does not mean that individuals will be able to do everything. Self-confident people have expectations that are realistic. Even when some of their expectations are not met, they continue to be positive and to accept themselves.

Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives, yet so many people struggle to find it. Sadly, this can be a vicious circle: People who lack self-confidence can find it difficult to become successful. After all, most people are reluctant to back a project that's being led by someone who was nervous, fumbling, and overly apologetic.

Self-confidence is exactly the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared out of your wits. Your perception of yourself has an enormous impact on how others perceive you. Perception is reality — the more self-confidence you have, the more likely it is you’ll succeed.

One way to start boosting your self-confidence is to affirm your worth, truly, affirmations work magic. Write a list of statements that say what you want and how you want to be in life such as, "I get more confident everyday". "I am an expert at what I do, I know I am". State all affirmations in the present. Some people stand in front of a mirror and say them. I also encourage you to record them and play the tape over and over. Read your affirmations at least once a day.

Then you have to evaluate your relationships. Assess the relationships in your life. Do they support you or sabotage you? All relationships change with time; some get better, some get worse. If you have relationships in your life that are more of a burden then a joy, it may be time to get rid of them.

Evaluating your existing relationships give room for you to start new relationships. Identify people that have the qualities you admire - people you feel you could learn from and who could learn from you, as well. Look for people you can have fun with. Boosting your confidence can be really fun, if you want it to be. This may be time for a traditional support group. Chatting over a cup of palm wine with your pals might be a remedy. Organize your own group of confidence boosters and support each other in making changes. Remember my post on Fulcrum Of Success (FOS)? You might want to read that again.

Above all and most importantly, you will have to change your behavior.
What do you do that boosts your confidence and what do you do that brings it down? Exercise, getting enough sleep, speaking your mind, and dressing well are behaviors that tend to boost confidence. Staying up late, spending all your time with some lousy friends, and saying "yes" to avoid confrontation when you really want to say "no" will bring your confidence down.

Never forget to speak up. When we withhold communication because we are afraid of how we will be received, we chip away another bit of our confidence. Share your thoughts, opinions, and preferences. Speak up in all situations. As part of a formidable human potential development organization – Gold Touch International, I learned that you should make it a point of duty to speak-up wherever you are. The insignificant situations will be practice for the important occasions that are sure to follow.

In doing all of this, ensure that you take a risk a day. A risk is something you would do in an instant if you knew you would be successful. It is the fact that you do not know how it will turn out that makes it a risk. The best way to bolster your confidence is to start doing things you are afraid to do. Make a list of risks for you and start to do them one by one.

Sometimes, it takes a few days to boost your confidence, sometimes, it takes a few weeks. Occasionally it can take a few months to overcome a confidence deficiency. Know that if you are consistent with your confidence boosting techniques, you will eventually find yourself renewed, stronger, and more confident.

Overcoming Discouragement

Dear Loving People,

Has it happen to you that you wake up one morning feeling so discouraged? You turn around and nothing makes sense? Just a look in your wallet and you are reminded of your perpetually bad financial situation, you receive a phone call and you don’t want to live again. As if that is not bad enough, your spouse is depressed for a plethora of reasons, your kids are red with rage because you came home late last night, a loved one is down with a terminal illness, and the list keeps on.

In this life of ours, no matter who you are, what work you do, or whom you know, there are times when you get discouraged. I get discouraged many times over but I believe that no matter how difficult life is, there is always a solution. Discouragement happens to everyone but how you manage it, makes the difference. Giving in to discouragement, only amplifies your worries.

What we should dwell on as achievers is not the discouraging feeling in itself but rather on how to get out of it. Let me share with you my little experience. At one time, I woke up feeling really discouraged; I was perplexed and dejected; it occurred to me in the midst of all this perplexity that the Lord could be trying to tell me something from the experience. So I opened my Bible and guess what I fell on; Psalm 27:14 "Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!"

I decided this was not what I needed so I continued my search. Then, I came to Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest… For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Perfect! with these words, my burden was beginning to feel lighter. I just felt that God still had more for me if I read on. Lastly, I came upon Psalm 70. There it was, the solution I was searching for: "Make haste, O God, to deliver me! O Lord, make haste to help me! Let them be put to shame and confusion who seek my life…" Those were exactly the words I needed.

I do not know where you are today, what you are doing, or what burdens and frustrations you may have presently. But I can strongly advice that if you feel discouraged, consult God's book, the Bible, the Koran or whatever name you give it. There is power in connecting with a higher power.

William Arthur Ward wrote “Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you.”

 

When you come out of your discouragement, then you can be a big encourager to many others who might be suffering like you did. In the Bible, we read about Barnabas in Acts 4:36 who first appear as a Levite named Joseph from Cyprus. Barnabas was called, the Son of Encouragement because he knew how to inspire people toward greatness. Barnabas is a fine example of a man who knew how to give courage, hope and inspire the hearts of those who really needed help. Barnabas knew how to encourage the church leaders to accept Paul as one of their own. The encourager knew how to look beyond the surface to the depth of Paul’s love, determination and faith. Trust the Lord to help you to offer emotional, spiritual and social support for those who need encouragement.

The Duke of Wellington, the British military leader who defeated Napoleon at Waterloo, was not an easy man to serve under. He was brilliant, demanding, and not one to shower his subordinates with compliments. Yet even Wellington realized that his methods left something to be desired. In his old age a young lady asked him what, if anything, he would do differently if he had his life to live over again. Wellington thought for a moment, then replied. "I’d give more praise," he said.

Always take all your discouragement to God just perhaps when the Lord knows how desperate you are, He will tell a group of angels to work overtime to help you.

I feel better today. I hope you feel better, too.