A Phone Call from Failure

Dear loving people,

It was a dusty morning in a suburb; my phone rang for the first time in four days. “Hello, Abongta speaking” I said scratching my itching nose and wondering who could be disrupting my solitude. “From this end, I am Failure; I’ll like to have a word with you Sir.” Came the husky voice. “I beg your pardon! Who did you say you are?” my eyes were popping already. “Failure! It’s Failure Sir and I would like to have a word with you if you don’t mind.”

With a feeling of anger and a trembling body, I went on “Is this some…. Is this some joke or what? Anyway, what can I do for you?” “Sir, I have read a lot about you and your inspirational posts on Living Lectures, I just wanted to hear in your own words what you consider Failure to be.” Still bemused, I launched into a hurried explanation…

“Well, firstly, I would say that a Failure is not someone who fails but someone who quits.  Everyone fails from time to time, but I will not consider you to be a failure until you quit. Did you play a song on a piano the very first time? Certainly No.  You had to try again and again. This happens in all spheres; even Christians become weary while serving the Lord? Yes, there are times when you may not feel like going to church, reading your Bible or even praying. At such moments, you rather need to go to church more than ever before as it could be the time God touches your heart. You need to read your Bible as it could be the time the scriptures bless your heart. You need to pray because that could be the time God opens the doors of Heaven for you.

I agree with Henry Ford who says “Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently” Thomas Edison is said to have failed 1,000 times before inventing the light bulb.  When asked why this happened, in humility he said, "I found 999 reasons why it could not work." In the game of life, you have to clearly know what it takes to discourage you because success is not determined by what it takes to start you but to stop you. “Do you get me?” I asked wondering if my strange caller was still at the other end listening.”

“I get you loud and clear Sir but I am just wondering though, what if you choose to avoid failure? What if you are too scared of the pain and shame and ridicule to risk it happening?” “Good question” I said getting more comfortable with the discussion as it was clear my caller needed assistance. “If you try to avoid failure, most certainly, you will fail to succeed. Your fear of failure and your avoidance of it, at all costs, becomes the very reason why you do. If you have ever tried to become successful at anything, you will be familiar with failure. You cannot succeed to master something without at first failing a lot. The very act of failure is required in order to succeed. If you want to learn a new art, or learn to ride a bike, or play an instrument, or become a teacher… Whatever it is, you need to get comfortable with failing. Let me give you a good example.

In the U.S. education system the goal is to leave no one behind. As a result a great many graduates have never been allowed to fail contrary to what obtains in a country like Cameroon. This isn't because they are actually most skilled or talented. It is because the system doesn't allow for failure. I can firmly say that without having a chance to fail, these students are deprived of one of the most powerful ways of learning. Without having a chance to fail, students are taught to avoid failure which means they avoid risk. Teaching students to avoid risk teaches them to avoid the very thing that can make them successful later on in life.

As a result many adults in the U.S. don't know how to react to failure in their own life. They have learned from a young age to avoid failure and to try to ignore it when it occurs. They have learned that failure can just be swept aside and not dealt with or reflected upon. Recognizing failure is one of the best ways to grow. If you ignore your failures, it is unlikely that you will ever be able to develop the skills necessary to make up for your deficiencies.

My own past failures remind me that I am not afraid to stick my neck out and try. I am prepared to take a beating. I want to better myself and I am prepared to take the knocks along the way in order to reach my goals. And with each failure, I learn, I grow and I get ever closer to achieving my goals.

By recognizing your failures, you are better able to understand yourself. Also by treating each and every failure as a learning experience, you can make failure a positive experience. This doesn't mean that you will want to fail, but by turning failure into something good, you can reduce the pain of failure.

Since many individuals avoid action because they are afraid of failure, taking steps toward minimizing your fear of failure can give you an advantage over others who have not learned to benefit from their mistakes. Fear of failure is one of the biggest reasons people don't strive for greatness. By recognizing that failure is just part of the learning process, individuals can overcome one of the biggest roadblocks to success.

Risk is a natural part of success. Risk doesn't mean doing something stupid. Risk means attempting something that stretches you beyond what you know you can succeed at. This type of risk helps you to grow. By developing a healthy attitude toward failure, the fear of risk is lowered which encourages people to attempt things that will contribute to their success.

Take the time to recognize all of your failures. Don't simply brush over them. Take the time to reflect on what went wrong and how you could have handled the situation differently. By doing this you will be able to grow in a way that many individuals avoid. This growth can set you apart from the average person and turn your failures into successes in the future. Failures are inevitable, but you have a choice on what you do with the failure. You can let it destroy you or use it as a springboard to make yourself stronger than before.

Conclusively, “The quickest road to success is to possess an attitude toward failure of ‘no fear,’ ” says Ralph Heath. “To do their work well, to be successful and to keep their companies competitive, leaders and workers on the front lines need to stick their necks out a mile every day. They have to deliver risky, edgy, breakthrough ideas, plans, presentations, advice, technology, products, leadership, bills and more. And they have to deliver all this fearlessly—without any fear whatsoever of failure, rejection or punishment.”

That’s about what I can say to you Mr Failure, oops! Sorry am I correct, your voice didn’t sound like that of a man…” “You are very correct Sir, I am a man and you’ve sufficiently clarified my worries” the line went dead. What a way to appreciate. The bottom-line is that I addressed Mr Failure squarely.

Merry Christmas