Beneath The Smile

Dear lovely people,

Just one month into their marriage, Parkson felt on top of the world and he told himself he deserved it after all the meticulous work he had done from the moment he decided to get married to the time they left the banquet hall at the end of their wedding ceremony. He spent a greater part of his time admiring his wife as she went about her domestic chores. All was moving according to plan and he told himself he had found the perfect wife of his dreams. She knew just what to do when, where and how to do it.

The story was not the same by their first anniversary in marriage, everything suddenly changed for the worse. Parkson could not place a finger on what actually went wrong. They suddenly became too quarrelsome, their home was no longer the sweet home with all the fragrance anybody would desire, the smiles where gone. There came moments when Parkson did not feel like returning home after work and so the questions kept coming: what suddenly went wrong? What could have happened after all the planning put in to ensure they had a wonderful marriage?

Parkson’s experience underlines a major truth in life. No matter how well you plan, no matter how much you think you master your surroundings, problems will arise, some unforeseens will crop up whether you like it or not. The first thing you have to understand is that it’s not about what happens, it’s about how you handle what happens that makes the difference.

Many are those who tell the world how positive they are when things are moving right and when things swing to the down side, they can stand it, they become negative and some even give up on their beautiful dreams.

One major step to handling whatever happens the right way is to be crystal clear about what the problem is. Before trying to argue with someone and come to a solution for whatever the problem is that the two of you are having for example, make sure you understand what's really bothering them first. Sometimes people seem mad about one thing but really they're mad about something else. If you want to really fix the problem, it's a good idea to make sure you're working on the right problem first.

Let’s consider Parkson’s case, the wife might have told him she’s mad at him because he accepted a new job in a none-accompanied country instead of a local job within country. Of course, he will still be coming home on leave and grow their marriage without serious problems: what she's really worried about is that all that time off on his own might lead him to meet someone new and that could entail unpleasant outcomes for their marriage.