Failure is a Stepping Stone. Use It

Dear loving people,

Five of the twenty seven messages I got from Living Lectures subscribers this morning enquired about the fear of failure in the quest for success and so permit me handle that in this post.

The fact is that failure is part of the human condition.  Everybody fails at something.  People who achieve a great deal fail at many things. But! You can choose to regard failures as negative experiences - defeats, losses, setbacks.  Or you can choose to regard failures as positive experiences - opportunities for you to learn what not to do, what needs to be changed, and what needs to be fixed.  Failure can accelerate our success. Yes! You got me right. This will happen if and only if you take the time to extract clear lessons from your failures, and then apply those lessons to your next endeavor. 

Therefore, “If you’ve never failed, you’ve never lived”. It’s a good reminder because as we live our day-to-day life, we tend to forget this very important message. We end up thinking that everyone that succeeds has had nothing but luck all their life and that they had it easy. Who can blame us too, I mean by the time we hear about someone making it, the focus is on the success, not on the long hard struggle to get there.

Don’t get me wrong here but the point is that recognizing failure as a potential positive experience gives you a new freedom - the freedom to try new things, be more creative, and stretch outside your comfort zone.  If you don't achieve the results you seek, ask yourself, "What did I learn from this?"  Of course, accepting this concept intellectually is one thing.  Dealing with failure emotionally is another matter entirely.  Before you can learn from your failures, you must learn to fail.  And, in order to do that, you must understand failure and put it in its proper perspective.

Failing is trying. Without trying we never have a shot at succeeding. The quicker you can deal with failure, the quicker you are ready for success. Each failure is a building block to success. Some people cannot deal with failure, so they never try anything. The result: nothing. Nothing can happen without action. Life is all about action, and taking risks.

There is value in failures, as you can see. And most importantly, failures are lessons. What you can draw out of each failure is experience and knowledge that will help you succeed better. That is why you should never ever be afraid of failing, because there is absolutely nothing to fear. In the game of life, nobody plays a perfect game. If you think that some people lead perfect flawless lives, it’s your perception, but certainly not reality.

Accepting is not expecting! You should never expect to fail. The ones that expect to fail realize their wishes very easily. You can be logical and accept that the possibility of failure does exist, but you can be confident in your chances to avoid such failure. This is crucial, as you do not want to become a habitual failure. Just knowing that even if you do fail, you will get over it, and that it won’t destroy you is so empowering that simply having that frame of mind increases your chances of success even more.

Michael Jordan is a great example about success through failure.  There are many lessons that can be learned through his experiences.  Use his six lessons as an opportunity for self-examination.  How do you respond to failure?

1.      Take the Shots: Michael Jordan often talks about how many shots he missed.  He missed shots because he was willing to take them.  Are you willing to take the shots that will help you succeed in your goals?

2.    Don’t Let Failure Stop You from Trying Again: A missed shot didn’t stop Michael Jordan.  If he had stopped shooting because of one miss, or not been willing to take the next game winning shot simply because he missed the last one, he would not have become the championship player he was. Is a past failure stopping you from moving towards your goals?

3.    Don’t Let Failure Get You Down: Michael Jordan didn’t let a missed shot create discouragement.  You cannot dwell on your failures – you must move on.  It is hard to overestimate the importance of a positive attitude on life especially when you fail.  If you are able to keep a positive attitude when you fail, you’ll be able to be ready to try again more quickly.  Have you let failure get you down?

4.    Learn Every Time You Fail: There is no doubt that Michael Jordan learned from his failures.  By learning from your failures you will gain more success.  Every lesson you take from failure can be used to help you succeed the next time.  Failure simply shows you what doesn’t work, allowing you to go do what does work the next time. What can you learn from your most recent failure?

5.     Know your Game Winning Shots: Your game winning shots are the activities which push you over the edge as you work towards your goals.  They are the things you can do that allow you to win. Your game winning shot might be making sales calls to your top prospect list, or submitting another book proposal to a publisher. You need to know these most important activities and look for opportunities to take shots. What are the game winning shots for your business?

6.    Your Response to Failure Impacts Your Team: Not only was Michael Jordan a basketball superstar he was part of great teams. With Michael Jordon the Chicago Bulls won six NBA championships. Similarly, you need a team to succeed. Your team will follow you lead.  If you respond negatively to failure, your team will follow. If you dismiss failure, learn from it, and quickly move on with a positive attitude your team will do likewise.  How is your response to failure impacting your team?

Always remember, you can at all-time either make or mare your life because you and you alone are the CEO of your own life.