A Letter To My Past!

Dear Loving people,

Join me as I write this letter to my Past. It could equally be your past. Given that our past often hangs around us for a while, I will be choosing my words carefully but being firm….

My time honored past, you have this way of letting me dwell on you from time to time to the extent that I now think its okay because as it goes, I am human with emotions.  As I live life and experience it to its fullest, it’s only natural that I sometimes cling onto what once was.

Some days it’s easy to get stuck in the past, to dwell on the things that didn’t turn out the way we wanted them to.  It can be easy to slip into this way of thinking when we are feeling sick, lonely or stressed. Whilst reflecting on the past can be a helpful learning tool for making better choices going forward, spending too much time looking back and wondering what could have been is often a waste of time and energy.

I read from an unknown author that “A bend in the road is not the end of the road…unless you fail to make the turn.” That is why I must tell you that when my human desire to cling to you affects my future, I begin a potentially unhealthy and seemingly endless battle with anchors that can hold me down and sink me. At such moment malicious Past, you better leave me alone.

I grew up in a rural community wherein recounting frightful allegories was the order of the day. I once was told that at a certain in October every year, a fierce faceless creature in the form of a man roamed the hills and lonely roads decapitating children. This story often paralyzed me and killed all ounces of courage in me, I was often scared to death when my parents sent me on an errand that required me passing through lonely roads. I could not stay in the house alone, or be anywhere alone. It got to a point where I was sick during the month of October just thinking that I might be a victim at any moment. It was much later in life when I got to realize that the story had some similarities with the Celtic feast of Samhain and that parents used it to deter their children from wondering about aimlessly.

But then, I carried this burden with me, letting it anchor me down, which made certain locations, periods, and possibilities “off limits.” I dreaded every October, afraid that my emotions would spin out of control because of these anchors. Sometimes they did, but it took me a while to realize it was because I let them. I got know that many other people who might have experienced a breakup, a tragic death, or a streak of bad luck, certain people, places, and things probably anchor them to the past. Now is the time for you let go and move forward:

Desolate Past, I am telling you exactly how I am going to kill you. When I begin to dwell on you my Past more than I feel is healthy, I ask myself a series of open-ended questions: Why does this memory matter to me? Does it serve me to restrict certain opportunities because they remind me of this memory? What’s the worst that can happen if I’m faced with a brutal reminder of this memory? What can I do to live with this memory, accept it, and move forward? And of course, eliminate could, should and would from my vocabulary. Sue Augustine advices “Our past can control today and tomorrow only to the degree we allow it. The past should not be a place where we dwell but a place from which we learn all we can and then move on.”

Miserable Past, I am taking with seriousness Take Dr. Seuss’s words: “Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” I am capitalizing on your feeble tactics as an opportunity to discover who is really touching my life now. Who’s truly there for me? How can I enjoy my shared connection with a person to my life now?  I am trying my hardest to forget about who once was there for me.

I have decided to be there for those who are there for me. I think that this is a great step in building new and meaningful relationships to help focus on the present. Perhaps they’re anchored down, too. We can help each other. This is why reciprocated relationships are the only ones that truly work.

I have come to understand that my anchor does not own me. It cannot dictate my actions, make me feel inferior, or restrict me from living the life I want without my consent. I hence know that I am my own person, every anatomical and emotional part of me. My charisma is unique and I am owning it and I know I will rise up.

To drive home the last nail on your coffin shameless Past, I am now busy with my daily activities, I will hence identify with like-minded people because I have realized that each new day presents me with huge opportunities to make new memories happen. This is a gift I have often taken for granted. I must tell you that your anchors will not hold me down anymore. I have opted to let go and now they are slight road-bends in the endless highway of life.

Sue Augustine says “The time has come to lay that baggage down and leave behind all the struggling and striving. You can be set free as you journey forward into a balanced healthy and rewarding future.”