Yes! I Was Defeated

Dear lovely people,

Robert Green Ingersoll says “The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.” If you were called Hilary + Clinton, you will want to read Robert Green’s words over again because there is a world of insight in them.

In the early days of my career, I went for a job interview for a prestigious position. 26 candidates started the process and at the end of the day, 24 candidates had been screened off. I was confident the job was mine but then on the final day, just before the final interview, I was told “The two of you left are such great candidates but here, its Americans first. If you don’t significantly outperform your rival – a former American Peace Corps volunteer, then we will have to give him the job.”

You can then imagine the adrenaline that was pumping in my veins from that moment as I went into the interview room. At the end of the interview and as I headed home that afternoon, I felt somehow I will not be coming back to that office as a new employee. The bells of defeat were ringing in my head.

When the long awaited email got to my inbox a week later, every single sentence read just as I had predicted… “The recruitment process has come to an end. While thanking you for your time and interest to work with us, we regret to inform you that your candidacy has not be retained for this position this time… we found a more suitable candidate for the position…”

Behold, even though I saw this coming, even though I envisaged their response, I could not help feeling sad when I read it. I felt dejected, blue, hopeless and completely defeated, something I had not experienced before. I asked myself lots of questions, what I could do to stop feeling that way. In my reflections, I resolved that the one thing to do was for me to forgive myself for all that I had been blaming and beating myself up for. It occurred to me that if I simply acknowledge what I did to contribute to my seeming demise, and learned from it, knowing it will make me better going forward. I will be prepared for greater things to come.

I reminded myself of Wilma Rudolph’s words “Winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to lose. Nobody goes undefeated all the time. If you can pick up after a crushing defeat, and go on to win again, you are going to be a champion someday.”

So I tell you today! No matter the magnitude of the defeat you are experiencing right now or will ever face, learn from you past, all of it, and know you are being equipped for challenges to better things ahead. You must clearly understand that there is a world of difference between getting defeated and feeling defeated. Instead of dwelling upon what went wrong, try to focus your attention upon what you can do right next time. Remind yourself that this too shall pass. Try to let go of what you cannot change and do your best to be respectful toward whomever or whatever has defeated you.

“There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time.” Says Malcolm X.