Feel Of Success

Dear lovely people,

Sometimes I wonder whether what my mind is made of, you see I keep getting to all sorts of reflections and sometimes fruitlessly try to consciously analyze my own reflections. For example, this morning as I drove to work, I found myself reflecting on the unexplainable feeling that comes with succeeding. Whether it's passing the finish line in a race, getting an A on a test, or even just impressing everyone at a talent show. I know the feeling is different for everyone, whether it's a kind of euphoric feeling of butterflies in your stomach, a feel of rain falling on your body or just smiling and not being able to express any other emotion than happiness. Everyone, at some point in their lives, has experienced success.

I think that there is something so addicting about success. For the past couple of years, I have gotten every single job that I set out wholeheartedly to get. It felt so amazing every time I passed that finish line and knew I had won. Receiving that much awaited call each time or reading the email that informed me I was the best of the candidates always gave me an unexplained overdose of ecstasy. 

This year, on the other hand, you might not belief it but it is a completely different story. All I want is that same sensation like my job interviews the past years, but I can't yet because I have not applied for a new job since the beginning of this year. Even though I am increasing eying an international position, there is a profoundly different feeling between succeeding and doing extremely well for your age.

Whenever the way we want to see ourselves doesn’t line up with what’s actually going on in our lives, our self-image is threatened. To cope with that threat, we try to compensate for the discrepancy between our beliefs and our current circumstances. Often, that compensatory behavior involves seeking out specific products or activities to repair our feelings of self-worth. Sometimes, this might make you experience bad feelings.

When you’re already feeling bad, take steps to prevent yourself from inadvertently making your problem worse. Notice when you’re self-worth has been threatened and pay attention to the strategies you usually use to compensate. Consider whether you’re temporarily boosting your self-image, or proactively improving your situation in the long haul.

When you’ve made a major mistake, experienced a failed attempt, or felt insulted by someone’s remarks, acknowledge your feelings. Then, decide on the best course of action. Rather than taking steps to try and prove you’re still “good enough,” find an unrelated activity that will help you cope with uncomfortable feelings.  

“Each day holds a surprise. But only if we expect it can we see, hear, or feel it when it comes to us. Let's not be afraid to receive each day's surprise, whether it comes to us as sorrow or as joy it will open a new place in our hearts, a place where we can welcome new friends and celebrate more fully our shared humanity.” Says Henri Nouwen