Self-Image Part2

Self-image is who you think you are; it is your self-concept. The self-image is the collection of traits which we recognize in the ego and our archetypal fields; for example, you might recognize yourself as a patient, bold, handsome, beautiful, funny, talented, successful, etc. human being.

A well-constructed self-image is inclusive; it allows us to be and do whatever is necessary. In contrast, if our self-image is restricted, we are restricted; for example, if the self-image says that we are timid, we will be less-able to call on our capacity for courage when a circumstance requires courage. But if our self-image is inclusive, we acknowledge that we tend to be timid, but that we contain all potentials and all "opposites," including courage. Instead of limiting ourselves to one side of a dichotomy (e.g., timidity or courage, extraversion or introversion), we can have a self-image which permits both sides of dichotomies; for example, we can say that we are flexible, creative, adaptive, spontaneous, and intuitive -- thus allowing ourselves to go toward either duality in any situation.

If Doris as we read in the story, had seen herself as a black-is-beauty and intelligent young lady admired by many, she would not starve herself of important necessities in order to save money to decolorize her body and by so doing, ending up uglier than she ever dreamed of. This tells you to what extent those who harbor a negative self-image can go.

Can you imagine that all our laughter each time that Doris walked into the classroom was coincidental; we never (maybe with the exception of myself) noticed that somebody had entered the class and so we were laughing at other funny things said during our chatting. But because she had lived with this negative image of herself, her complexion to say the least, she thought and so believed that we were laughing or mocking at her.

Consider a situation wherein you define yourself as "flexible," you might expect this description to grant you considerable freedom for action -- but there will be times when you need to be non-flexible, i.e., determined. This dualism means that any self-image is only half-correct; there are occasions when you are (and need to be) flexible, and there are occasions when you are (and need to be) determined. Thus, when you are working to improve your self-image, you remember that it is only a default (and it is always limiting); in the long run, your goal is to be more aware of your intuition, so that you do not need this default, and instead you transcend it.

Countless people live with a mild to severe distorted perception of themselves, we often hear people say; “I am too fat, I am an awful person, I think I deserve this; it’s my entire fault, my problems don't matter to anybody, I am just a sack of bad luck..."

What is seen in the mirror isn't reality, and when they compare their physical or personality attributes to others they are extremely judgmental of themselves. A person with a negative self-image may see another person and think "I wish I could be as cute as them" and in reality, may actually be prettier. They may wish to be as smart, as funny or as compassionate as another person that they are equally as good as -- the bottom line is that they cannot see their own good traits, especially in comparison to others, because of the low self-esteem they have of themselves.

Another excellent example of a distorted perception is black and white thinking... Thinking that bad situations or feelings are the complete end of the world, and good situations or emotions are as bright as the sun. There is no stability or "normalized" thinking with a middle ground, but harsh swings from one extreme to another. 

To be continued…