Dear
loving people,
It’s been a month-long cruise to the last part of the lessons
I learned in 2014 and of course I saved the best for the last.
In the quest for success and happiness, partnership is
everything. Napoleon Hill talks of the Mastermind principle and says that his
best mastermind partner is his spouse. Who wouldn't love a partner
willing to take on extra chores and errands? It turns out that a conscientious
spouse isn't just good for household management and harmony, but for one's
success at work, too, according to research out of Washington University. While
one's own personality obviously plays a major role, one's spouse's personality
also factors in significantly, especially if that spouse is conscientious,
reports Scientific American.
There's much we can do to
improve our relationships with our partners by working alone on ourselves. We
can change our distorted beliefs, become more self-accepting, re-pattern our
behavior, learn to accept our partners better, improve the atmosphere of our
home, learn assertiveness, and learn to integrate emotions. Making these kinds
of changes on our own can have a profound and positive impact on ourselves, on
our relationships, and our partners.
Get it now! Don’t make assumptions, don’t take things
personally. Just following this one bit of wisdom can save you a lot
of heartache and trouble; not just in your marriage, but also in every aspect
of you life. We have a tendency to think that everything is about us. We have this
thing called personal
importance. The truth is, everything is not about us. Everything
anyone else does is really about them, that’s including your partner. I know,
hard to believe, but true. If we take things personally when our partner acts
not so wonderfully, we’re likely to feel unloved. We think it’s about us, when
it’s really something they’re personally dealing with. That doesn’t mean we
don’t call them out when they’re acting a fool. We just don’t make it about us.
Get the point?
It’s
also important to not make assumptions. How many times have you felt hurt
because you thought your partner should have known something? Most of the time
I am upset at my wife (for some reason or another) it’s because I assumed that
she automatically knew something. Then I’m upset at her because I thought she
should trust me enough to know what I am capable of. Then she’s upset at me
because she thinks that there’s no reason I should be upset at her, when I’m
the one that did something wrong in the first place. See the pointless cycle
this creates?
All
of this confusion can be avoided if we simply don’t make assumptions and don’t
take things personally. Instead of making assumptions we can ask for what we
want. It seems so simple, right? If you don’t ask for what you want, how do you
expect to get it? As blindingly obvious as this is, it has taken me quite a
while to get this.
Dr Phil says “The need for acceptance is so profound that
I would venture to say that most, if not all, issues that cause conflict in a
relationship ultimately come down to one or both partners feeling rejected—and,
in turn, wanting to feel more accepted.”
I hope you’ve enjoyed the series, remain blessed.
No comments:
Post a Comment