The Crab and the Invincible Buckets, Strike a Balance

Dear loving people,

One time a man was walking along the beach and saw another man fishing in the surf with a bait bucket beside him. As he drew closer, he saw that the bait bucket had no lid and had live crabs inside. "Why don't you cover your bait bucket so the crabs won't escape?” he asked the man. "You don't understand.” the man replied, "If there is one crab in the bucket it would surely crawl out very quickly. However, when there are many crabs in the bucket, if one tries to crawl up the side, the others grab hold of it and pull it back down so that it will share the same fate as the rest of them."

So it is with people. If one tries to do something different, get better grades, improve themselves, escape their environment, or dream big dreams, other people will try to drag them back down to share their fate. Fortunately for all of us however, it isn’t necessary to step on each other to try to get out of the bucket. In fact, it is impossible to lift yourself up while holding someone else down.

This story teaches us to learn to ignore the crabs. Charge ahead and do what is right for you. It may not be easy and you may not succeed as much as you like, but you will NEVER share the same fate as those who never try.

As the years roll by, we are continually being enriched by the talents of people who have had less than "perfect" bodies, whether by birth, accident or disease. Think of Helen Keller, Mandela, Winston Churchill, Mahatma Gandhi, Stevie Wonder, Martin Luther King, Jr., to name just a few. They chose to "climb the crab bucket" instead of listening to others.

One other important fact whether we like it or not is that each of us has a bucket, be it a crab bucket or an invisible bucket.  The invincible bucket is constantly emptied or filled, depending on what others say or do to us. When our invincible bucket is full, we feel great. When it's empty, we feel awful, dejected and sometimes demotivated to take action on our dreams.

Each of us also has an invisible dipper. When we use that dipper to fill other people's buckets -- by saying or doing things to increase their positive emotions -- we also fill our own bucket. But when we use that dipper to dip from others' buckets -- by saying or doing things that decrease their positive emotions -- we diminish ourselves.

We are who we hang around with. If we hang around crumbling amateurs who don’t keep their word, who consistently fail to honor their commitments, and who never finish anything? People who change their minds every other day what they want to do with their lives? People who whine more than work? We’re letting them drag us back in the bucket.

Like the cup that runneth over, a full bucket gives us a positive outlook and renewed energy. Every drop in that bucket makes us stronger and more optimistic. But an empty bucket poisons our outlook, saps our energy, and undermines our will. That's why every time someone dips from our bucket, it hurts us.

So we face a choice every moment of every day: We can fill one another's buckets, or we can dip from them. It's an important choice -- one that profoundly influences our relationships, productivity, health, drive for success and happiness.