Discard a Few Friends? Fact 03

Dear Lovely People,

Once you decide on how you’re going to deal with a friendship that has become toxic, the next part is the toughest part. You actually have to follow through on it by taking action.

Always keep this in mind: often, the most manipulative of your friends, the ones most likely to be resistant to you changing, are also the most charismatic. That means that when they get a hint of what’s going on, they might instantly change their behavior in response, and it can be a seductive ploy.

Friendships can sometimes resemble emotionally abusive relationships, where as soon as the victim tries to pull away, the abuser changes their act, only to slip right back into the old routine once the distance is closed again. Sometimes they do this on purpose and sometimes they just have no control over their emotional behavior. It’s ultimately up to you to decide whether their change of heart is a genuine effort or not.

Four months after Joseph had talked with Abadel, he did change for a while and soon was back to his dirty game of treachery, viciousness and gossip. It was on that count that he decidedly withdrew from him and started avoiding his presence and invitations.

If you’ve only decided to re-position your friendship or even have a discussion with the friend to see if you can make changes that way, this will also require some reassessment to see if it worked. You’ll most likely be immediately aware if it doesn’t, but just keep your eye on the situation, realizing that if things don’t get better you might have to pull the plug completely.

That’s the only way to get serious with yourself, your relationships with negative friends and the hard-way-the-only-way strategy to ensure that those around you are those you most need to push your dreams to success.